Life and Times of an Aardvark
by Shaddy-pink
Summary: When The Raccoons came back on Teletoon Retro, I was spurred to write a multichaptered something about it. It mainly circles around the father and son relationship of Cyril and Cedric, but others, such as Sophia, play important parts as well. CHAPTER 3 UP
1. The Trip

**Disclaimer:**(My god, I'm so bad at remembering to put these on)… A-hem, I do not own the Raccoons or any of the characters used in this following fan-fiction, except for OCs such as Marianne, Sophia's mother (who won't be coming up until a bit later in the fic), and a couple that I'm still thinking of… it's only the first chapter, people!

* * *

Life and Times of an Aardvark

Cedric wanted to go on a rafting trip. Nothing too big or demanding, of course. Just a quiet little vacation for about two days or so. He knew his father needed it. As much as he denied it, Cyril was well past the big five-zero and had to be careful that he didn't overexert himself like he did in his forties. Unfortunately, Sneer Industries was a demanding corporation, and he honestly couldn't find the time to do any actual planning. Tomorrow, however, was a regional holiday and every business in the Evergreen forest was to be closed for two whole days. Cyril would usually use these days to count up his profits, but Cedric knew he could convince his father to do otherwise.

The younger Sneer knocked on Cyril's bedroom door. A couple of years ago, it would have been the office, but the businessman was now taking precautions to lower his stress levels and keep his health in check. One of these precautions was to go to be at a decent time, but the schedule change still kept Cyril awake for a portion of the night, usually reading or doing something else to pass the time.

"Pop?" Cedric called. "Are you awake?"

"What? Oh, yeah. Come on in, Cedric."

The bespectacled anteater walked in to find his father sitting on the sofa, reading an issue of _Tycoon Monthly_. He was furiously chewing, what Cedric assumed to be, a piece of nicotine gum. After forty years, it was hard to let go of his cigars, but after a small intervention and a slap from Lisa to be around to see his son's future grandchildren, he was willing to give it a try.

"Pop, you know how the next two days are a holiday for everyone… including businesspeople?"

Cyril looked up from his magazine, raising an eyebrow. "Fine, Cedric. You can have a couple of days off. You've been working pretty hard over the last few of weeks, so I can hold down the fort for two days."

"Um…" Cedric nervously adjusted his glasses. "That's not all of it, Pop… I want you to take those days off as well. So we can go on that rafting trip that I never got around to telling you…"

"WHAT?" exclaimed Cyril, dropping his magazine. "Absolutely not! There's way too much to do around here! Just ask Bart, err, Bert or whatever his name is to go with you."

"Aww, Pop! As much as I like spending time with my best pal, Bert and I have been hanging out almost everyday this week. Besides, we haven't spent any quality time together outside of work for ages! Come on, what do you say?"

"No way, Cedric. I remember the last time we went on a 'trip'… I 'tripped' off a cliff and broke my leg during that crazy survival trek you dragged me on!"

Cyril stood up and shook his leg for emphasis. "It still aches whenever I think about it!"

"You know it wouldn't be anything like that." Cedric sighed, crossing his arms. "I'm not a crazy manual-drone anymore. This will just be a vacation… nothing else."

Cyril sat back down on the couch. "I don't know, Cedric…"

The bespectacled aardvark smiled to himself. An 'I-don't-know-Cedric' or an 'I'm-not-sure-Cedric' meant that he wasn't in the mood to argue and could be easily swayed at the moment. Cedric decided to go in for the kill.

"Please?"

Cedric had taken off his glasses for the "puppy-eyes" to be in full effect.

"I…well…" Cyril ran a hand down his face. If Knox had ever found out it only took THAT to make him break his resolve, he'd be ruined.

"Alright! Alright! Fine! But you better have everything packed! I'm not going on some crazy rafting trip unprepared!"

Cedric grinned. "That's great, Pop! Trust me, you won't regret it!"

Cyril picked up his magazine as his son walked out of the room. "I better not…"

* * *

Tomorrow had turned out to be a very good day. Except for the occasional wispy cloud, the sky was completely clear. 

Bert practically skipped towards the front door of the Sneer mansion. He couldn't wait to tell Cedric the good news. As he raised his knuckles to knock on the door, the painted oak suddenly swung open, nearly sandwiching Bert behind it.

"C'mon, Pop! We better hurry up if we want to get to the river before noon!"

"Just gimme a minute, already! This bag is heavier than it looks!"

Bert just stood dazedly as the two aardvarks marched out the door, both carrying heavy-looking backpacks.

Shaking his head, the raccoon ran up to Cedric.

"Hey! Cedric! Can you stop for a minute?"

Cedric stopped and turned around while Cyril decided to use the momentary pause to reorganize his belongings.

"Oh, hi Bert!" Cedric said. "Sorry, I can't hang out with you and the guys today. Pop and I are going rafting!"

The younger Sneer tilted his head curiously at the somewhat horrified expression of his best friend. Then he chuckled.

"I know what you're thinking, Bert. And no, this is just a short vacation. No more manual-induced survival trips for me, thank-you."

Bert sighed with relief. "That's good then. But Cedric, I just came over to tell you something really splendid. Oh boy, you're gonna love it."

Cedric's ears perked slightly. Usually when Bert was too excited to even stand still, it had to be something good. "Yeah? What is it, Bert?"

The young raccoon smiled. "Lisa and Sophia are coming back! They won't be here until the end of this week, but we know for sure they're finished school and ready to come home! For good!"

Cedric gasped as his ears seemed to raise even higher. "Oh, Bert! That's wonderful! I know how much you've been waiting for Lisa to come back, and I haven't seen Sophia in so long! We call each other almost all the time of course, but I'm so glad she's actually going be staying!"

"You two will be back by the time they arrive, won't you?" Bert asked.

Cedric put on his backpack. "Oh sure, no problem! Anyway, we've got to get going, but it's been nice talking to you Bert!"

"Same here buddy. Have fun on trip!" Bert replied as he bounced off.

"Wow…" Cedric sighed to himself. "Sophia's really coming back."

"Cedric! I'm chucking the automatic popcorn-maker! We have two more at home anyway!" called Cyril. "This pack is heavy enough!"

"Whatever you say, Pop…" Cedric mumbled, still deep in thought. "Whatever you say…"

* * *

"Okay, Pop! Start paddling left… NOW!!" 

Cyril was going to kill that boy.

"CEDRIC!! YOU TOLD ME THIS WAS GOING TO BE AN EASY VACATION!!" the elder aardvark bellowed, angry and attempting to be heard over the loud roar of the river.

"Sorry, Pop!" Cedric called back. "We must have taken a wrong turn and gone into the rapids! It's okay though, according to my directions, we'll still be able to get back home afterwards!"

"WE BETTER!!"

* * *

A couple of miles later, the two aardvarks had finally found a spot to make camp for the night. They settled on an island-like patch of land that was right behind the river's shore. There was also an uphill path parted through the woods that lead to a cliff edge with a stunning horizon and view. 

"Alright, Cedric, help me pitch up the tent."

"There is no tent, Pop."

"What?"

"I didn't pack one. The weatherman said it was gonna be a clear night tonight, so I thought we could sleep under the stars."

Cyril sighed and shook his head. "I hope you at least brought sleeping bags."

Cedric chuckled, taking out the sleeping rolls from the pack. "Oh, don't worry, Pop. I wouldn't want to sleep on cold, hard ground anytime soon."

* * *

"Look! There's Orion!" exclaimed the younger Sneer, pointing at the constellation. 

"Hmph. That doesn't look like any hunter from Greek mythology to me." Cyril replied, folding his arms behind head.

The two aardvarks had finally settled down for the night, lying down alongside each other on their sleeping bags. Cyril had wanted to get a decent night's sleep for once, but it seemed impossible to do so as his son was so insisting at pointing out each and every constellation he could find.

"Well, it doesn't, if you look at it as is. You have to use your imagination." Cedric traced his finger around the constellation. "Do you see the three bright stars in a row? They're slightly diagonal."

Cyril tilted his head. "Yeah, yeah I see 'em."

"That's Orion's belt." Cedric replied. "Now there should be a pair of stars above the belt, and another pair below it. Those represent his shoulders and knees. You can kind of make it out from there."

The elder Sneer squinted. "Oh, well there it is. Heh, isn't that something?"

"It sure is Pop, it sure is."

Cyril caught the undertone of his son's last reply. "Is there something on your mind, son?"

Cedric shook his head. "Oh no, Pop. Nothing important. You wouldn't be interested."

Cyril sat up. "Nonsense! Whenever you tell me it's nothing important, it usually is! So you might as well just me now while I'm awake."

The younger aardvark sat up as well, giving a long sigh. "Well, I'm turning twenty-five in a month, and I feel it's time for me to do something that I've felt I wasn't ready for… until now."

Cyril nodded. "And what is that?"

Cedric gulped and rubbed the back of his head. "I… I…"

"Come on, Cedric, spit it out!"

"Iwannaproposetosophia!" Cedric blurted out.

Both were silent, and nothing was heard except for the crickets near the river's shore.

"You, WHAT??" Cyril exclaimed, ears sticking straight up.

Cedric cleared his throat. "I want to propose to Sophia. I want to marry her."

"I heard you the first time!" Cyril snapped. "I've just never seen you make such a brash decision before. Do you really think you're ready for such a commitment?"

The bespectacled Sneer nodded. "You know Sophia and I have been dating since we were nineteen, and even from a distance, we've made our relationship work. I love her, Pop, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I'm willing to do anything to make her happy, even if she declines my proposal. As long as she's happy, I know I have done all I could."

"Cedric...?" Cyril gasped. He felt like it was only now that he was meeting his only child.

"But, Pop." Cedric continued. "I won't even consider it anymore unless I have your blessing. I want the assurance that you're perfectly okay and willing to support me through this… So please answer this in full honesty: Are you alright with me proposing to Sophia?"

Cyril paused, deep in thought, looking at nothing but his twiddling thumbs. Slowly he raised his eyes.

"Cedric. Do what you like. I'm way too busy and you're too old for me to give you permission over every single thing. I barely know Sophia, and I doubt that I would even have time to meet her beforehand, but you're an adult and I can expect you to make adult decisions. Just don't mess up. The Sneers are reputable for getting themselves whatever they want, and if you want to marry this girl, you have to get her yourself. Understand?"

Cedric how to read between the lines. The basic translation of his father's last speech was simple: 'Go ahead and do what you must, but don't expect any help from me'. He wasn't quite sure what to make of this, but he chose to be satisfied with the fact that Cyril hadn't said 'No' and ended it with that.

"Alright, Pop. I understand."

"Good." Cyril replied. "Now that's enough discussion. We're leaving bright and early tomorrow, so I can get back to my industry and YOU can get back to your job!"

"Sure thing, Pop. G'night."

Cedric yawned and rolled over to his side, promptly falling asleep.

Cyril raised his eyebrow. He always wondered how that boy could drop off so quickly. After a moments hesitation, he stood up and walked to the cliff view, settled down on a log bench, and thought.

* * *

Cedric shifted as the early-morning light hit his eyes. Blinking, he fumbled for his glasses and realized it must have been extremely early since he could see sun just barely approaching the horizon. 

Turning to his right, he was not surprised to see that his father was not present at the campsite. Cyril was even an earlier riser than Cedric, if he even rose at all last night. It was easy for the older Sneer to pull all-nighters. He had lots of practice.

Glad to have not missed the sunrise, Cedric freshened up by the river's shore before going to where his Pop would most likely have spent the night: the cliff side.

Low and behold, his assumption was correct. Hunched over in what Cedric assumed to be deep contemplation, was Cyril.

"Hey, Pop." Cedric said, placing himself on the log bench beside his father.

"Ah! Oh, hello Cedric." Cyril replied, straightening up a little.

The younger Sneer gave the elder a mildly pointed look. "Please tell me you got at least some sleep last night."

Cyril scowled. "No, I didn't. And I prefer it that way, thanks just the same."

Cedric walked over and sat on the bench. "Penny for your thoughts?"

The elder Sneer snorted. "A penny?! Cedric, I raised you better than that! For heaven's sake where did you learn to insult your own father like that?!"

"Gee, Pop. It's just an expression..."

The bespectacled aardvark was used to this sort of grouchiness in the morning. The fact that they didn't pack any coffee didn't help matters either.

"Either way," Cyril began. "I was just thinking about how we SHOULDN'T do this again anytime soon. I had to move Knox's appointment about the expansion of the fireworks department. Fireworks festivals are getting a lot more popular around the forest, so that means fireworks will be a hot item on the market!"

This didn't surprise Cedric that much either. His father wouldn't go on an extended vacation even if someone PAID him for it... but then again, there was very little that Cyril wouldn't do if someone paid him for it.

Cedric looked back out at the horizon. Bright whites and yellows streaked across the sky as the sun rose. "Gee, it's been a while since I've seen a sunrise like this."

"There are more important things in life than looking at sunrises." Cyril replied. "I doubt if I have even seen a sunrise like this."

Cedric shrugged. "That's what happens when you don't get out very often."

The businessman glared, wanting to say something reprimanding, but he couldn't help but to feel something stirring deep within him as he sighed in defeat.

"I think I must agree with you on that one."

* * *

**A/N:** Story too sappy? Cyril too nice? Yes, I know! I consider my first chapter the "prototype" chapter, since I'm just kind of juggling ideas around and experimenting on how to portray the characters. As for the story itself, it's not a complete WAFF-fest, so don't worry. Conflict (and romance, of course), will be coming up shortly to get this story better developed. Please review, as I love constructive criticism. I'll take any comment on how to improve my story into consideration, since I love writing and want to get better at it. (I currently have my own idea for a story/novel thing, but I consider it in development hell at the moment :P). 

**EDIT A/N: **If you have read this chapter before, you can see that I have revamped it quite a bit. A helpful reviewer had told me I missed the mark with Cyril's character, so I tried to increase his "Cyril-ness" by a few degrees. I hope it made him more in-character! (BTW, if you think that he might have been too dismissive about Cedric wanting to marry Sophia, my reason is that perhaps he's not sure how solid Cedric's resolve is, and if he'll actually go through with it.)

'Til next chapter, I bid you, Adieu!


	2. The Arrival

**A/N:**Well, here's chapter two! I don't think it's quite as long as the first chapter, but I consider it a "well-rounded" chapter, having better character personas and the like. It also kicks up the plot to get it rolling. Enjoy!

* * *

"Enough lollygagging, Cedric! Every minute YOU meander around, I'M loosing a business deal!" 

"Coming, Pop! Now, how do we get back home?"

"What, don't you have a map?"

"…"

"Cedric, where is the map?"

"Heh, um… Non-existent?"

"CEDRIC!!"

The younger aardvark gulped and took two steps away from the incensed businessman. "I thought we wouldn't need it. I didn't have a particular destination in mind, but-"

"-But then we took a wrong turn and now you don't know how to get back, wonderful!"

"Aw, come on, Pop. It's not all that bad."

Cyril snorted. "Not all that bad? How do you think it could get any worse?"

"The heart of the Evergreen Forest is just South from here, isn't it?" Cedric asked, walking in circles, as if he were searching for something.

"Yes, I think so… What in blazes are you looking for?"

Cedric stopped at an old rock. "Over here, Pop!"

"Isn't that just a mossy rock?" Cyril asked as he walked over. "What are you doing staring at rocks anyway? You already have over a hundred in your room!"

"Remember when I told you how I learned to swim at my Aardvark Youth Camp?"

"What about it?"

"Well, I also learned how to tell direction by looking on the moss of trees and rocks."

The bespectacled Sneer turned to the other side of the rock. "Moss always grows in the Northern direction, so if we just go the other way to where this moss is growing, we should find the river and get back home!"

Cyril paused. "That has to be… the craziest idea I've ever heard! But I'm desperate, so lead the way, Cedric."

The two aardvarks picked up their belongings and began the journey back.

Eventually, they did make it to the river and paddled back home, to Cyril's relief, without running into any rapids.

* * *

Cedric was a very calculated and scheduled individual, but later that day when he received a call from Bert telling him that the girls were pulling up to the station at any minute, all of his plans flew out the window. 

"PopmeandBertaregonnagoseetheLisaandSophiaatthetrainstationwon'tbebacktilsometimelatertonightokayseeyoubye!"

Cyril had stepped out of the office when he heard the door slam, scratching his head in confusion. After a moment, he stepped back in.

"I apologize for the interruption, Knox, but I was pretty sure I heard my blender going off."

"Not a problem, Sir." Mr. Knox replied. "Now, where were we?"

"Oh, yes." Cyril cleared his throat. "The fireworks sector of Sneer enterprises…"

* * *

Cedric was pedaling so fast on his bicycle that he was surprised he hadn't broken a gear yet. He just couldn't get to station fast enough. It was only now he realized how much he missed Sophia. The bespectacled aardvark wanted to propose then and there, right at the train station, but he knew he couldn't be so hasty. He was a well-mannered individual and knew these things have to be done properly. He would buy an engagement ring and invite her to a moonlight picnic, and then he'll pop the question. Clichéd, perhaps, but he knew that Sophia would love it… wouldn't she? 

"Cedric!"

The voice caught him off guard and he nearly crashed before steadying himself last-minute.

"Gee, Bert. A little warning would have been nice."

"Sorry about that, Cedric ol' buddy. I'm just so excited! It's three-fifty-eight, and the train's gonna pull up at five! You can't tell me you're not excited as well!"

"Of course I am, Bert. In fact, I have to tell you something-"

The high screech of the train whistle interrupted the younger Sneer.

"Oh, boy! They're here! They're here! They're here!" Bert shouted, literally bouncing up and down in his anticipation. "You're gonna have to tell me that something later, Pal!"

Cedric shook his head and followed his best friend, who was rushing like mad to get to the doors of the train cars. He could see Lisa's family greeting their daughter from the corner of his eye, along with Bert running his mouth like he had one too many cups of coffee, but where in the world was Sophia?

And suddenly, there she was, walking gracefully out though the door. Cedric continued to watch in awe as the female aardvark brushed her long, navy-blue hair out of her eyes, which met Cedric's the next moment.

"Cedric?" her soft voice crooned, walking through the crowd.

Cedric blushed and adjusted his bowtie. In his excitement, he had completely forgotten it had been almost two years since he last saw her. Even when she wasn't at school, she chose to stay with her mother in the city during holidays and the like. What was he supposed to say?

"Oh, Cedric!"

He never got the chance.

In an instant, Sophia had flung her arms around him, giving the startled Sneer a kiss on the cheek. Cedric managed to gather enough sense to return the embrace.

"Sophia… I… wow... you look wonderful!" Cedric managed to say, as his girlfriend released him.

Sophia giggled. "Cedric, it's not like we have just met. You don't have to be so bashful."

"Heh, sorry Sophia…" Cedric apologized, mentally kicking himself. If he was going to propose to this girl, he had to pull it together.

"Let me carry that bag of yours." the bespectacled aardvark offered, picking up the suitcase. "It looks really heavy."

"Oh, it's nothing I couldn't handle, but thank-you. I never really met anyone in the city that was even close to being as gentlemanly as you."

Cedric sputtered out a quick thank-you, while doing a Bert-style 'WAHOO!' in his head. Maybe he had a chance after all. He recovered his bike and put the suitcase on before mounting it himself

"Are you going home, Sophia?"

"Yes, Cedric." the female aardvark replied. "The trip really wore me out, so I was just planning to go home and relax for the rest of the day."

"Do you want me to bike along with you?"

"That would be lovely, thank you."

* * *

Sophia lived by herself in a quaint little cottage on the other side of the lake. It was sometimes lonely, but she could never tell Cedric since he would have immediately tried to accommodate her into the Sneer mansion, and she didn't want to be a burden in that sort of way. She also knew that Cyril would make an obvious fuss about it, and so she kept quiet. 

"Here we are, Sophia." said Cedric as he put her trunk past the door. "Are you sure you don't want come back and see the rest of the gang?"

"Oh Cedric, I would, but I really do need the rest. Tomorrow, perhaps."

"Alright then," Cedric replied. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sophie."

The bespectacled aardvark turned his cheek slightly for the kiss, and was caught by surprise when Sophia opted for a gentle one on the lips.

"Of course."

Batting her eyes affectionately, Sophia walked inside and closed the door, leaving a stunned Cedric with his fingers lightly resting on his mouth.

* * *

"On the lips? Wow… You really are one lucky aardvark, Ol' buddy." 

Cedric had to tell SOMEONE what had happened at the cottage, so who else to tell but Bert, his best friend? He couldn't imagine telling something like this to Cyril, of course, but then again, he probably would have been too busy to show any interest.

"Yeah, it really surprised me, but I'm really glad it happened. You see, remember that 'something' I was going to tell you about?"

Bert's ears perked slightly. "Oh, yeah! What was that anyway?"

Cedric took a deep breath, but somehow it seemed easier to tell it a second time.

"I want to propose to Sophia. And I think I'm going to."

"Really??!!" the raccoon exclaimed, jumping three feet in the air.

"Of course!" Cedric replied. "I've been waiting for the right moment to ask for her hand in marriage, and I think this is it!"

"Wow, I'm really happy for you, buddy!" Bert stated as he shook Cedric warmly by the hand. "Does anyone else know?"

"Other than you, just Pop." Cedric sighed. "But he didn't seem that interested."

"What?" Bert said indignantly. "His only child is going to propose to a fine young lady, and he doesn't even care? Sheesh…"

"Well, I think it's because he doesn't take me seriously." the younger Sneer said sadly. "I bet he thinks I won't even go through with it."

Bert looked his friend straight in the eye. "Cedric, do YOU take this seriously? Do YOU think you'll through with it?"

"Well… I don't kn-"

"Yes, or no?!"

"Yes, Bert! I want to do this! I WILL do this! I want Sophia to be a part of my life!"

Cedric stopped short for a second. He couldn't remember the last time he was so determined on something. Perhaps he had more of his father's genes than he let on.

Bert flashed a grin. "Now THAT is what I like to hear! As long as YOU know you can do it, there's nothing stopping you!"

Cedric stood a little straighter. "You're right, Bert. Thanks a bunch for the pep-talk. It was exactly what I needed."

The young news reporter placed an arm around his friend's shoulders. "Aw, what are friends for? Now let's celebrate with a tall glass of peanut-butter soda at the Blue Spruce! My treat!"

"That would be great, Bert. Just great."

* * *

Cedric came home very late, but absolutely elated. He, along with Bert, had met up with the rest of the gang at the café, and after some prodding by his best friend, had caved and told them about the proposal. They all had to take an oath of secrecy, however, for there was no way Cedric wanted Sophia to find out beforehand. The ultimate consensus was that they were all happy for him and were certain he would be successful. This filled the young aardvark with even more confidence and hope. 

"About time you came home!" Cyril growled, pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace and chewing his gum. "As the co-owner of Sneer enterprises, I expect you to pull your weight around here!"

"Sorry, Pop!" Cedric replied in an almost sing-song tone; the blissful grin still stuck on his face. "I just wanted to meet Sophia at the train station and one thing led to another… oh, by the way, I need to take the morning and evening off tomorrow."

Cyril made an awful choking sound as he felt his gum going down the wrong pipe. "Are you insane?!! You want to take the morning AND evening off?" The tycoon's eyes narrowed as his tone got low and suspicious. "What for?"

"I need the morning to look around jewelry stores and buy an engagement ring for Sophia." Cedric explained. "Then, in the evening, I'm going to ask for her hand in marriage."

Cyril's eyebrows rose expectantly. "So you really are going to go through with this, are you?"

The younger Sneer nodded. "That's right, Pop. I've made this decision, and I'm gonna follow it through to the end."

The businessman made a small noise of acknowledgement. Cedric really seemed determined about this, and he wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. If his son could really pull this off… would he be able to do it by himself?

He hummed through his nose as he opened a drawer and took out a few packs of bills. "I suppose you'll need some cash in order to buy a proper ring… but don't think I'll let you get away without working off the debt right after! So, how much do you need?"

Cedric shook his head. "Oh no, I don't want any money, thank-you. I'm going to buy the ring myself. You just keep making those deals and going about the usual business. I can take care of this."

Cyril's eyes widened. Did his own son actually deny his money?

"I'm going to bed, Pop." Cedric yawned. "It's going to be a big day tomorrow and I really need to get some shut-eye. You should head upstairs too. You look kind of pale… Well, good night!"

Cyril might have mumbled 'good-night' back, but he was too immersed in thought to know for sure. Could Cedric really afford a decent ring on his salary? Wait, what was he saying? A Sneer never settles for decent! They settle for the best, and only the best!

…NOW he was worried. Cyril could never be sure if Cedric had ever fully grasped this Sneer philosophy. He sure hoped that boy of his knew what the heck he was doing.

* * *

A/A/N: Well, that was chapter two. You know what do. Don't forget to review! ...A-hem... All clichéd rhyming aside, you know I want to hear all constructive criticism you have to offer (if you have any to offer. If you don't, it doesn't really matter). Not only does it improve MY writing, but it makes my stories more enjoyable for YOU (a.k.a., the people who read them). It's a win-win situation, folks!

P.S., I know I'm going to turn myself into a target for saying this, but hey, there's a lovely little "report abuse" button I can use now, so I suppose it doesn't matter. Anyway, I just wanted to say there's a fine line between constructive criticism and flames. I can handle it when people point out errors and things that I did wrong in my stories and offer ways to improve on them, but it's obviously hard for anyone to tolerate "OMGZ u suk A$S!!!" and whatnot.

'Til next chapter, I bid you, Adieu!


	3. The Ring

AN: Sooooo sorry about the wait guys, but like it says on my profile, I don't tend to stick around fandoms for a very long time. But after more than a year, someone was still asking about this story, and if that someone could still remember my story after all this time, then who am I to disappoint them? My writing style has changed since the last chapter, but hopefully this change is for the better. I'm also using OpenOffice instead of Word, and the stupid thing doesn't have spellcheck or grammarcheck. So, while I tend to proofread painstakingly, a few little errors might have slipped through.

* * *

"YOU BUMBLING SACKS OF BACON! YOU CALL THIS OVER-EASY?!"

"Is there something wrong with them, Boss?"

There are three ways Cedric often wakes up in the morning.

"TAKE THEM BACK OR YOUR _LIVES_ WILL BE OVER- EASY!!"

"Yes, Boss! Right away, Boss!"

To Cyril yelling about breakfast, to Cyril yelling about the stocks, and (the rare one), from his own alarm clock.

Today was breakfast day, it seemed.

No matter, Cedric thought as he got out of bed and proceeded with his morning routine. The butterflies of excitement and anxiousness were doing some kind of weird tango in his stomach and it had him too distracted to think about trivial things like that. It was the big day, after all. Cedric had made plans to go ring hunting with Bert in the morning, and then, in the evening, he would pop the question. He was actually GLAD that his father would probably make him work throughout lunch to make up for it. Anything to help ease the anticipation.

"CEDRIC! Are you up yet?"

"I'll be down in a minute, Pop!" The younger Sneer was just finishing up with his bowtie. His regular blue one would suffice for picking out the ring, but he planned on wearing his fancier red one for tonight.

Walking down the stairs, Cedric ran over the plan in his head, making sure nothing was out of place: He had asked Ralph and Melissa to go over to Sophia's and make sure she was kept busy for the day, he had called Sophie last night for the picnic and she had said 'yes', having no prior engagements (heh, wedding joke, Cedric thought), and Bert was scheduled to be at the front of his house right about...

A loud and very erratic knock of the door resonated through the hallways.

...Now.

Bert, being the impatient sort of fellow he was, opened the door anyway and practically bounded inside.

"Ready to go, buddy?"

Cedric nodded as he counted the money in his wallet. "I am now!"

"Cedric! I hope you know you're going to be working through lunch because of this! Heck, I should be making you work through the entire night!" Cyril barked from the kitchen.

"Yes, Pop." the bespectacled aardvark sighed. Just like he predicted.

"Breakfast or stocks?" Bert asked as they left the mansion.

"Breakfast." Cedric replied. "Bad eggs."

The raccoon nodded knowingly.

Little did they know, a trio of sweater-donning porkers were following their tracks, staying close enough to not lose sight of the duo, albeit far enough to not get noticed.

"So what's the point of this stake-out again?" Floyd whispered to his brothers.

"Don't you ever read the memos?" Lloyd replied, glaring sharply. "Master Cedric's getting married-"

"They grow up so fast." Boyd interrupted, dabbing his teary eyes with a tissue.

"-and the boss wants us to find out what he's gonna do for the proposal."

"That's it?" Floyd asked, puzzled. "No meddling, no break-ins, no nada?"

Lloyd shrugged. "Nope. Just follow and report."

Boyd tugged on his brother's sweater. "Well, we better catch up, or else we've got nothing to follow!"

"Right!" the other pigs chorused as they took off.

* * *

Irving's Rings was a modest little jewelery shop settled right at the edge of the forest. Quite a bike ride, perhaps, but the merchandise was always reasonably-priced.

The small bell upon the top of the door chimed at the aardvark and raccoon's arrival. Irving, an old bobcat, emerged from the storage room to greet his new customers.

"Welcome to Irving's Rings, gentlemen. I don't think I've ever seen you two around these parts, but I sure know who you are."

Cedric and Bert looked at each other, and then back at Irving.

"You have?' Bert asked in disbelief.

The bobcat gave a low chuckle. "Well, sure."

He gave a nod at Cedric. "You're Cedric Sneer, the son of that millionaire tycoon Cyril Sneer and co-owner of Sneer industries..."

"...and you," he continued, looking at Bert, "are the infamous reporter of the Evergreen Standard, Bert Raccoon."

The younger forest-dwellers stared at the store owner in shock.

Irving just laughed again. "Don't look so surprised. You two have made quite a name for yourselves in this forest. Now, how may I help you today?"

Bert smiled and threw a companionate arm around his friend's shoulders. "My best buddy here wants to get hitched to this lovely young lady, and he needs the ring to do it. We're looking for the best of the best, the top of the line, the cream of the-"

"-Bert." Cedric sighed, politely stepping away from his enthusiastic friend. "I love Sophia, but I can't go crazy here."

The young aardvark stepped closer to the counter, surveying the various and brightly-gleaming rings.

"I know I'm on a budget, but I want an engagement ring that tells her that she means the world to me... I just don't know where to start."

Irving looked at Cedric with amusement and a hint of nostalgia. Ah, young love. How he missed the days when he was a strapping young lad, brimming with such passion and drive.

"Well, Cedric," the bobcat began, "You've come to the right place. Just pick the ring that feels 'right'. Don't worry, you'll know when you've found it."

The young Sneer nodded and began to scan up and down the rows of rings, Bert following right behind him just in case he missed any.

"So, how exactly will you be proposing to this young woman?" Irving asked, leaning over the counter.

"Oh, I'm going to take her on a picnic this evening, right on top of Horizon Hill, and when the moment is perfect, I will ask her to marry me." Cedric replied. "It's simple, but I think she would appreciate it."

"The classics are very romantic." Irving said encouragingly. "I'm sure she'll love it."

Bert made a face. "I'd still like it better if he'd let me do my skydiving routine, and I can unfurl a large banner that says MARRY ME SOPHIA! It would be SO cool!"

Cedric chuckled and shook his head. "We already discussed this Bert. No proposal techniques that can get my best friend killed, but thanks for the thought."

Meanwhile, outside the window of the shop, the three pigs were furiously jotting down quick notes about Cedric's proposal.

"Picnic... Horizon Hill... ask when time is perfect..." Lloyd mumbled to himself as he scribbled into his notebook. "I guess that's everything, boys."

"Are you sure that's it?" Floyd asked, still skeptical. "It feels so... incomplete."

"I know." Boyd agreed. "Like we should be doing something more..."

Lloyd groaned at his brothers. "Do remember the last time we tried to 'do something more' than the bosses orders? Or the time before that? Or the time before that?"

"Or the time before that, or the time before THAT, or the time-"

Lloyd smacked Floyd with his cap to silence him. "What I'm trying to say is that maybe if we just do what the Boss wants, we won't get into any trouble!"

"Yeah! Maybe he'll be so happy, he'll give us a raise!" Boyd added cheerfully.

"That's the spirit! Now come on boys, we've got some reporting to do!"

In a clatter of tiny hooves, the three pigs took off yet again, heading straight for the Sneer mansion.

Back inside the shop, Cedric had found the perfect ring. Not too big, not too small, just the right cut and clarity, and even the colour was the faintest shade of blue, Sophia's favourite.

The young aardvark sighed in defeat when he saw the price tag, however. The ring was just barely out of his price range, almost painfully so.

Seeing his best friend's distress, Bert took out his own wallet and discreetly placed a couple of bills of a certain amount into Cedric's hand. The young Sneer looked at the money, stunned.

"But Bert, I can't accept-"

Bert placed a finger on his lips and made a shushing noise. "Relax, pal. Think of it as my wedding gift to the happy couple."

Cedric immediately brightened. "I owe you one, Bert. I really do."

The young raccoon simply waved it off. "It's nothing. Now are we gonna stand here and be all mushy-mush or are ya gonna buy that ring?"

"Right." Cedric said with determination. He turned towards the store owner.

"Mr. Irving, I would like to purchase a ring. The one on the third row, second to the left..."

* * *

It was nearing one o'clock in the afternoon when Bert and Cedric went their separate ways, the young reporter heading back to the Raccoondominium, and the young businessman towards Sneer Mansion.

Cedric opened the door to his luxurious abode, and lo and behold, Cyril immediately told him to quit lollygagging and get to work. The younger Sneer noted with disappointment that his father hadn't even asked about the ring.

After the brief interlude with his son, Cyril returned to his study to wait for the pigs' arrival, tapping his clawed fingers impatiently on the desk. The constant drumming came to a halt when he finally heard the familiar click-clack of the tiny hooves outside his door.

"So? What do you porkers find out?"

"Master Cedric will be taking Miss Sophia up to Horizon Hill for a moonlight picnic, and will propose..."

Lloyd paused momentarily to flip to the next page of his notebook. "When 'the time is perfect', as he stated."

The old tycoon raised an eyebrow. "That's all?"

The pigs nodded simultaneously. "Yes, sir. We didn't miss a word."

"Did you see the ring?"

"Yes, sir!" they replied.

"Describe it."

"Very pretty," Boyd reported, "but very modest. Nothing special, just an average engagement ring."

Cyril nearly gagged on his gum, growing livid.

"Modest... Nothing Special... AVERAGE?!"

The pigs huddled together in fear, bracing themselves for what seemed to be their boss's most heinous temper attack.

"These words are NOT part of the Sneer vocabulary!" the Tycoon roared, slamming his fist on the desk for emphasis. "What that son of mine is trying to do, I'll never know... but I know he's doing it WRONG!!"

"W-what do you suggest, boss?" Floyd timidly asked, being the first to find his voice.

Cyril paced up and down the room, a heavy indication of being irritated and in deep thought. After a moment's time, he stopped in his tracks, a wicked grin creeping onto his face.

"Meet me in the front garden after Cedric leaves... and bring the fireworks."

* * *

A/A/N: Aaaand chapter three finally comes to a close. Yay! I would've had this up earlier if it weren't for that glitchy thing that came on the site if you tried to log in.


End file.
